Today’s the Day

Here we are. Today is the day. Today is the day that cancer finally taken out of my mom!  It feels like it’s been forever. The moment we got the news the only thing I could think of was GET IT OUT!  But we had to wait. Go through 6 rounds of chemo and everything else associated with this ugly sickness. 

Fear has overcome us all at one point or another and hope has remained a cornerstone that we are clutching with all our might. Emotions have been many; fear, worry, frustration, sadness, anger, confusion, distrust, hope and maybe most important to get us through has been gratefulness. Gratefulness that it hasn’t been worse, that she’s had the strength to fight, that there is treatment options, and that God is carrying her. 

We welcome prayers as much as possible and wait in hope as she is undergoing this important surgery that we do not hear any news that of spread or any complications. We stand in hope and I am searching for the courage to trust God again!

Trust

This topic is something that has been plaguing me lately.  Trust.  That is a huge word.  It is a huge action.

(as I started to write this, I couldn’t continue. I became blank.  I had to physically walk away.  That is how much this is a problem for me right now.)

2 hours later…

I see things on social media like this…

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I am ashamed to say this, but this doesn’t happen for me.  I want it to but it doesn’t.  I know God loves me.  I know my hope.  But I can’t seem to trust Him like I could, like I have before, like I need to.  This is real.  It is raw.  I feel like He has abandoned me.  Life these last few months have been filled with sadness and worry.  In my heart of hearts, I know this is when He is carrying me.  But why do I not feel this?  My search for understanding will continue…. I am not giving up.

Yikes 2017… It is here!

It has again been far too long since I have updated.  Life has a way of getting away from me.  The weather is beyond cold and I find myself reminiscing about warmer months.  As much as I do not want to wish my time away, being able to be outside and enjoying what nature has sure makes life full!  Maybe someday I will actually find a winter activity that I enjoy so that these days can be filled with anticipation for adventure like the warmer days are!

Generally speaking, life is about the same…

  • My mom is still fighting her fight against cancer.  We are at the point that Chemo is complete and surgery is impending.  After surgery at the end of this month she will begin her 39 radiation treatments.  We are all looking forward to this being behind us and looking at her and knowing that she is healthy and strong and enjoying our time together.
  • My girls are still as amazing as ever!  They are filled with life and joy and bring so much to each and every one of us.
  • Teaching has kept me busy!  Seeing growth in my students is powerful.  Seeing the sadness that happens in some of their lives is eye opening.  Showing love and kindness along with healthy expectations and life lessons is more important than ever.

Thanks for bearing with me!  I will continue to write as time allows!  Hopefully more often than I have been!

Soon, I will be reviewing a book for Multicultural Children’s Book day 2017!  I am very excited as I know we need more of this in our lives and libraries!

Multicultural Children's Book Day