This topic is something that has been plaguing me lately.  Trust.  That is a huge word.  It is a huge action.

(as I started to write this, I couldn’t continue. I became blank.  I had to physically walk away.  That is how much this is a problem for me right now.)

2 hours later…

I see things on social media like this…

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I am ashamed to say this, but this doesn’t happen for me.  I want it to but it doesn’t.  I know God loves me.  I know my hope.  But I can’t seem to trust Him like I could, like I have before, like I need to.  This is real.  It is raw.  I feel like He has abandoned me.  Life these last few months have been filled with sadness and worry.  In my heart of hearts, I know this is when He is carrying me.  But why do I not feel this?  My search for understanding will continue…. I am not giving up.



  1. Trusting people can be difficult since they so often disappoint us (and we, them) but trusting God is easier for me as I can look back on a lifetime where God was there for me in my worst moments. It takes years of “trusting” God in faith alone to have a long list of those moments where God strengthened you, held you up and provided for your needs. He is there and He is in control even when we don’t feel it. God loves your honesty and will reward it. Love you.

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